take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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