Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
