Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
