we have pet lesbian snakes
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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