kristin has been a bad kristin
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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