'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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