I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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