Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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