I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
