Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
