don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
wow bdsm is so cute
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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