I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
