Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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