i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
