Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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