Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
