her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
