Do you still have your period?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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