Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I understand Curling. That high.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
