i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
