if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
