She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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