shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
