The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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