found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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