Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
