There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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