Already got asked if we're dating
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
