Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
