i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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