You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
