Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
