So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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