Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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