I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
