did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize