my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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