My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
