So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was born a porn star she said
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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