I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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