Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize