She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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