I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
