Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this just has baby written all over it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
as a side note pls kill me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
