3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
