Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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