You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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