I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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