Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize