I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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