Three words: puerto rican gang bang
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
