I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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