Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
