Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
