all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
