come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
