all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
