I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is Oprah even human
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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