But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I faked an abortion last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
