we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
